Friends Are Like...

My mom's cat, Van Gogh (notice the missing ear)
was really excited to have me, & my stuff, home.

I went home this weekend to save my brain. It was touch-and-go for a bit (I claimed Fall was my favorite month), but I think I recovered rather nicely. I came back to Oxford with a hair cut, coffee pot, and gym membership. I'm practically a new woman.

While I was home, I got to have some family time. That consisted, as always, of making fun of my Nana's Alabama accent and looking at old photos that my uncle had put on a DVD. Some were hilarious. My mother...my mother should be SO thankful that I love her enough to not post some of those pictures on here. I'm not sure the readers of this blog would know what to do with the haircuts my loving grandmother gave her. Or with some of her poses. For not liking to have her pictures taken now, she sure knew what she was doing then!

My Nana: pronouncing water as "worter" since 1928 

In addition to family time, I got some Blowing Rock, NC time. Always, always a good decision. It is weird how much someone can miss the mountains. We also met a man in Blowing Rock named Roger. Roger was quite smitten with my mother and men hitting on my mom is always entertainment for me (if any of you know her, ask her about the Titanic Captain in Pigeon Forge. Classic). Anyway, this man was super nice and, after I explained to him that I wasn't 19 years old and that I had a job, I was able to tell him what I do and why I love it. After talking to him for roughly 30-40 minutes, this man looked at me and said, "Put Jesus in everything you do and you'll be successful, because I can see the calling in your face and I can tell your heart is in the right place." Thank God for sunglasses because I almost cried in public in front of a stranger. As if this man wasn't brightening up my day enough, he had kittens. 8 of them. My day: complete.

Don't worry, I left him there. Against my will. 

Sunday consisted of an amazing lunch with even better conversation, Mexican food for dinner because Oxford doesn't meet my Mexican food needs, and watching (and by "watching" I mean sleeping through) The Lorax with my 9 year old cousin. As if the weekend wasn't good enough, I renewed my driver's license on Monday in 20 minutes. Folks, I was IN AND OUT OF THE DMV IN 20 MINUTES. Someone call those Guinness people. I have a world record I need to report.

Though I didn't come back to Oxford with a kitten or a stash of tacos, I did return with new perspectives and a renewed sense of excitement (probably due, in large part, to that coffee pot). I text and talk to my friends from home all the time, but living 8 hours apart makes it easy to forget how amazing they are. Every time I go home, I am never disappointed. I've got a friend in Nashville, working all over the state and even visiting me in MS! (He was the first - other friends, take note). Another friend is Interior Designing up the Eastern part of TN and is in grad school. Her sister is in grad school at UT, being all studious and athletically training some people. I have another friend going to Thailand in January to build a community center. Thailand! I'm contemplating recruiting them to help me run the world. Thoughts? Between the 5 of us, we could sell, build, decorate, and educate, all while being healthy and having a personal trainer. I think I might be on to something...

Anyway. Neeew perspectives. New perspectives are great. Everyone needs them. It is important to be able to listen to others' opinions, consider them, but only be changed by them as much as necessary. You don't want to be an opinion sponge, soaking up the thoughts of everyone else and adopting them as your own. I think I was reminded this weekend how important thoughtful and insightful conversations are. You need people in your life that can listen to you ramble and provide honest, but helpful feedback. You need people that don't always agree with you and you need people to tell you when you are being ridiculous. You need people you can share looks with when other people are being ridiculous. You need people that make you laugh. My job doesn't really revolve around a laughing matter, so I need to surround myself with funny people. Luckily, I know some.    

The first sunset of Fall, my favorite month!

Now, that I've rambled about loving my friends, I'm going to leave you with some really insightful stuff. The title of this post is "Friends Are Like..." I was thinking, "Oh, I'll find a really good quote about what friends are like and I will tie it into this post!" Unfortunately, I turned to other people to provide me with a quote. Upon my internet search of what friends are like, this is what I found...

• "Best friends are like bread knives. They can help you lots, but they can hurt you badly too."  -That's deep. 
• "Some friends are like pennies. Two-faced and worthless." -Quite uplifting 
• "Friends are like roses...you have to look out for the pricks!" -I thought that applied to dating?
• "Best friends are like thighs. They are always sticking together." - ....
• "Friends are like sisters, but like sisters, they grow up, move out, and become apart." -What?
• "Friends are like underwear..." -I can't bring myself to finish that one, but none of my friends should be that close to my butt.
• "Friends are like boobs. Some are big, some are small, some are real, while some are fake." -How insightful.
• "Friends are like the television. Some are like PBS and are always asking for money. Others are like the news, with sad tales to tell every day. Some are like that one station with the foreign language; you don't understand a word of it, but you listen and watch." -I have no words.  

What Phase Is This?

Whenever you go to PSO (Pre-Service Orientation), they explain all these phases that you will experience over your year of service. First, you will be super excited. "I've got a new job! I'm going to change the world!" That obviously subsides and it becomes more of a "I see why you don't get things accomplished here" type of attitude. That is shortly followed by "I'm just going through the motions". Then, right as you're about to leave, you go back to "I love my job! Look at all we have accomplished!" Really, quite the roller coaster of emotions.

However, they never mentioned the phase where it seems like your job is taking over and your life is completely out of sync. Maybe I discovered a new phase? I doubt it, but when I realized that my drive into work this morning consisted of me attempting to eat peaches out of a can with my right hand (I'm left-handed) while I drove like maniac to get to work on time, I decided it was probably time to really reevaluate what I am doing. 

I was attempting to eat peaches out of a can for breakfast because it was the only thing I had time to grab because I was running late because I woke up late because it takes me forever to fall asleep at night because I think about my job.

Thank GOD there are 50% fewer calories. I was concerned about getting fat off my peaches. I'm going to be on a sugar high from my peaches in pear juice, but I will not be fat. And why are the people on the can so happy? I ate those peaches and I do not feel like that on the inside. Maybe I need to wait for the 38.5g of sugar to hit me. You can't rush excessive, swing-your-child-around happiness.   

This is why I don't have children. I need sleep and I need a routine. When I get out of whack, peaches out of a can with my right hand happen. When I get out of whack, I have to throw away perfectly good chicken and perfectly good ground beef because I thaw them to cook dinner, forget I've thawed them, and they go bad. I am honestly not sure when the last time I cooked dinner was, unless throwing something frozen in the microwave counts...? Wait, eating spoonfuls of peanut butter...does that count? 

I should probably take the approach of one of my friends, Liz, and try to turn all this complaining into something positive. For example, I need to quit complaining because I had food to eat in my nice car on my way to my job that pays most of my bills (thanks, Mom). I should also be thankful for being left-handed because that means I'm smarter (ha) and I should be thankful that, even though I'm having a hard time falling asleep, I am laying awake in a really comfortable bed. I'm starving right now, but the fact that I'm starving means I'm alive...? That one might've been a stretch. 

Being positive is exhausting. 

On a completely unrelated note, it is apparently Unmarried and Singles week, so I've learned all kinds of stupid statistics. For example, only 25% of people 25 and over with a bachelor's degree or higher are unmarried. Meaning 75% are married...? Apparently, I'm doing something wrong. Honestly, how has someone not made a Mrs. out of a girl that eats spoonfuls of peanut butter for dinner, canned peaches for breakfast, and burns her hair off with her hairdryer? Clearly, I'm a catch. I think this is where I'm supposed to say something about how men are intimidated by me...?

Now that this post has gotten completely off topic, I'm going to bring it back around to the beginning and say that I need to get my life togetheeeeer. I need to sleep. I need to eat decent food. I need to answer fewer emails after work. Once you get to the point of being tired, hungry, and completely unproductive, you're no longer doing what you were hired to do, and if you're a bad VISTA, you're failing your country. 

That might be a bit dramatic, but I'm tired and hungry so "dramatic" is currently my middle name.  

I want to leave you all with this quote, because I like it... 

"Being an adult sucks." - Me (and every other adult)

Too Much Snot

If I have to listen to one more loogie get hocked in my bathroom, I'm quitting my job. Just wanted to give everyone a heads up.

Is This Real Life?

This morning I woke up at 6:40am. I leave my house at 7am. After springing out of bed like my ass was on fire, I managed to shower, get ready, and leave by 7:05am. Someone give me a medal.

Speaking of fire, this morning I realized that what smelled like burnt hair was actually my hair dryer burning my hair. Off. It burnt it off. I then realized that what I thought was my hair just oddly breaking off for the past few weeks could actually be related to my hair dryer...burning it.

Today, I was addressed, in a professional email, as Ms. G. That's a new one. I was also called "momma"...by two different children.

In the office behind me, some man felt it was necessary (or maybe impressive?) to belch. Repeatedly. All day long. This comes one day after some other man hocked a loogie and left it in the toilet in the bathroom in my office.

I attended my 6th meeting in 7 business days today. I barely remember what we talked about and, for a brief moment before the meeting started, I wasn't even entirely sure I actually had that meeting today.

Last, but not least, here is the icing on the cake...

Tonight, in Pilates, someone farted. Loud. And no one laughed. I'm sorry, what? Am I the only one with the sense of humor of a 14 year old boy? WHO doesn't laugh at unexpected farts? ESPECIALLY in a room full of girls...? How am I supposed to relax with people rippin' farts around me? Impossible.


That was my life today. It was like having an out-of-body experience. Seriously...burnt hair, burps, loogies, and children referring to me as "momma". This is completely irrelevant when it comes to my job, but I wanted to document it so I could look back and laugh at everything, especially the unexpected fart.

"Where You Invest Your Love, You Invest Your Life"

First and foremost, whoever knows good music knows I stole my title from Mumford and Sons. I linked their name to the song with those lyrics. You're welcome.

On to business...

I have been an AmeriCorps VISTA for just over a month now and, if I were to quit tomorrow, I could confidently say this has already been the most wonderful and invaluable experience of my life. And honestly, I've been pleasantly surprised. I knew I would enjoy this job, but I didn't know I would absolutely fall in love with the school and people with whom I come in contact. Unfortunately, I express myself best in lists and bullet points, so I have numbered what I've experienced so far:

1. During orientation, you are warned that many people might not understand your job, appreciate that you are there, or might not initially welcome you as an outsider into their community and/or culture. My experience has been absolutely nothing like that. I have never been more welcomed, supported, or encouraged by a group of people that barely know me in my entire life. A school custodian checks on me daily. This man has to clean bathrooms, wax floors, and pick up trash after nasty high school kids while I sit at my desk and search around on the Internet and yet, HE checks on ME. A man that is originally from a town I'm serving, but now lives in another state, checks on me. He is retired, lives in a completely different area code, and has the means to be going on all kinds of adventures, but he still finds the time to make sure I'm keeping my head above water. A woman in the next town over is a copywriter, among many other things that keep her busy, but she always finds time to provide me really, really good ideas and invites me to nearly every meeting possible so I can meet people to help me along my journey. It never ceases to amaze me how selfless and supportive the people I am meeting are.  

2. Some aspects of a different culture just have to be embraced. I kind of have a funny example for this one. It involves a t-shirt. So, we are selling (attempting to sell) homecoming shirts. With the input of a couple people, a really cool shirt was designed. It was simple, to the point, and looked pretty good. So we thought. Turns out white people are plain. We were using our best marketing strategies to sell these "cool" shirts, but were only getting responses like, "That's too plain"..."Why does it have Mississippi on it?"..."I mean, I would buy this shirt, but if I saw another shirt with claws ripping through the front, I'd buy that one first"..."Black folks like big pictures!" (I swear, I am not making this up). As we told other administrators that we were going to change the front to now display a steroid-induced cougar, nooooo one was surprised. If I could sum up everyone's response into one general statement, it would've been along the lines of something like, "Well, no shit. I could've told you these kids didn't want a shirt that just had the school name across the front." Point is, we now have a really cool design for the front that I think the kids are going to love. Why? Because it fits their culture, not mine. And where I am? I'm in their school and their community, not mine. It was a quick reminder that, just because I don't understand someone else's preferences, it doesn't mean that I should try to change them. I am actually really happy to think that we might now be offering the kids something they actually want and can be excited to wear. I want them to be happy.

3. Turns out that I love collaborating. Wait - I love collaborating with competent and/or passionate people. Throughout my 18 years of school, group assignments were the bane of my existence. I would rather go through rush at Ole Miss than have to depend on another student to efficiently complete an assignment. If you know me at all, you know that rush at Ole Miss is kind of what I imagine hell to be like (sorry, ladies). Anyway - now that I've been placed in a position that requires me to do new jobs in a new community, I have quickly learned to love working with other people. It took me all 24 years and 9 months of my existence to admit that I don't know everything, but since I got over that hurdle (a hurdle the size of Mt. Everest), I now LOVE asking for advice. I love meeting new people, I love hearing their suggestions, I love experiencing their genuine gratefulness. It makes every day of my job exciting and rewarding.

4. I moved to a low-income community on the edge of the MS Delta. I serve kids that may never have as much stuff in their lifetimes as I have already accumulated in 24 years. I work in a town with no established grocery store, no mall, no movie theater, and not a single chain restaurant. There is no park, no functioning baseball fields, no community center. Reading that, you would think this little town in Mississippi had nothing to offer me and that I am probably spending my days showing these people how to live. Nope. I think every one should visit the Delta. It makes you thankful for what you have and it makes you realize how unevenly wealth is distributed in this country. It makes you realize that people of all races don't have equal opportunities and that a lack of education across generations keeps populations in poverty. While it is certainly not the case for everyone, being in this community is a constant reminder that people deserve better and will work for better if someone simply takes the time to show them how.

5. Lastly, going back to the title of this post, I am currently investing my love into these small towns in MS. Sometimes I am afraid my life will be built around them too. What happens in a year when my work here isn't finished? What if I have a lot left that I want to do? What happens when I don't want to leave the school or don't want to have to maintain the relationships I've made over distance? Do I stay? What would I do? The school district doesn't have the money to hire me for anything. I love working here, but this wouldn't be my ideal living location. I'm 8 hours from home and that gets old. It is a good and bad position to be in. It is good that I am happy here, but the time is passing quickly and next August will be here before I know it. That, my friends, is a bummer.

That is a brief, yet organized, summary of my life and where my mind is one month into my job. If you know I'm a VISTA, and clearly you do from this blog, I'm not allowed to be religious. With that said, I'm going to leave you with a quote (some might call it a verse) from a book (huge book, tiny print, lots of stories) that inspires me to be a certain type of woman...

"She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy." 

Frustration Station

Frustrated. Irritated. Slowly liking the sounds of Socialism (kidding. kind of). Whatever title you want to put on it, I'm over it today.

Grant writing - that's cool. Grant searching - that's some bs.

Tell me if this should make sense to anyone...

There is a foundation (I will leave it unnamed in case I ever need anything from them!) that has a lot of money. A LOT. More than they will ever know what to do with. Let's just say their charitable contributions from 2002 to 2010 were $690 million. $690 MILLION. After they spend $1 million, they still have $689 million left. I can't even wrap my mind around that. You know what else I can't wrap my mind around?

These are two of their areas of focus:
1. Healthy and Active Lifestyles: to support access to exercise, physical activity, and nutritional education programs, programs that motivate behavior modification, and programs that encourage lifestyle/behavioral changes.
2. Education: to support scholarships, school drop-out prevention, access to education programs, and other education initiatives.

That sounds really great, right? Then why the hell don't they support local sports or athletic teams or, my personal favorite, SCHOOLS?!! Don't want to support sports teams? Fine. There are a lot of them and the benefit of each team could be disputed. Whatever. But schools? Is this real life? I know that no one from this particular foundation has ever visited this part of MS (or likely any part), but let me explain something --- if kids are getting any help, participating in any activity, and, for the most part, getting any supervision, they.are.at.school.

Another organization I ran across today wants to reduce poverty, but doesn't fund after-school programming. Brilliant. What do they think children living in poverty do once school is out? Jump in their car and run to the mall with their friends? That would be really cool if this town had a mall. Or kids that could afford cars.

Needless to say, today I'm a Negative Nancy. I hate knowing money is out there and basically not being allowed to have it because we are a school. Heaven forbid we educate children in a sufficient environment. Additionally, a woman near me cleared her throat 13 times in 4 minutes. It took every ounce of self-control in my body not to slam my face into my desk.

Weren't 4 day weeks supposed to be better?